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Twas the Night Before Christmas

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Twas the Night Before Christmas


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the city

Not a thug was stirring oh my what a pity;

And the flat saps were hung by the jail with care,

In hopes they wouldn’t be used in there.

The brass were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of paperwork danced in their heads;

I in my vest and my partner in his,

Had just settled in for the long Christmas biz.

When in the trunk there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the vehicle to see what was the matter.

Away to the trunk I flew in a dash,

Turing the key and lifting the lid in a flash.

The glare of the street lamp on the new fallen snow,

Gave the luster of mid-day to the objects below.

When what to my wondering eyes should I see,

But a fat man in red handcuffed and unfree.

His movements were jerky, sudden and quick,

I thought for a moment he looked like St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his curses they came,

He hollered and shouted and called me such names.

“Now, this and now that,” stupid and worse;

My oh my this fat man could curse.

He sprang from the trunk struggling to be free,
jiggling and squirming and looked right at me.

Dress like a Santa from his head to his foot,

And his closed were all dirty with ashes and soot.

“A mall Santa?” my solution it seemed,

He straighten and stiffed his smile then beamed.

“The real thing I assure you,” he said some force,

So my partner counter, “You have ID Mr. Claus, of course.”

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Santa gave foot bail, on a chase we were led.

With hands cuffed behind him down the street he ran,

As fast and furious as a handcuffed fat man can.

He rounded a corner, out of our sight,

Santa and the pair of handcuffs gave flight.

When we got to the corner, the very spot,

The fat man was gone, hiding we thought.

But we heard him exclaim, from somewhere out of sight,

“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!”


© Raymond E. Foster, 1986-2011

About the Author

Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster retired from the Los Angeles Police Department after a 24 year career.  He holds a bachelor’s from the Union Institute and University in Criminal Justice Management and a Master’s Degree in Public Financial Management from California State University, Fullerton.  He has completed his doctoral studies in business research. Raymond is a graduate of the West Point Leadership program and has attended law enforcement, technology and leadership programs such as the National Institute for Justice, Technology Institute, Washington, DC.

Raymond has been a part-time lecturer at California State University, Fullerton and Fresno; and, was a faculty advisor and chair of the Criminal Justice Program at the Union Institute and University.  He has experience teaching upper division courses in law enforcement, public policy, technology and leadership.  Raymond is an experienced author who has published articles in a wide range of venues including magazines such as Government Technology, Mobile Government and Airborne Law Enforcement Magazine.  He has appeared on television and radio in the United States, Europe and the Caribbean, as subject matter expert in  law enforcement technology, criminal justice management and leadership; and, international gangs.

In addition to being the co-author of Leadership: Texas Hold ‘em Style, he is the author of eight books including Police Technology (Prentice Hall, 2004) and A Concise History of American Policing (American Heroes Press, 2011). 

As a consultant, Raymond has worked with municipal police departments, non-profit organizations, television production companies and foreign governments.  As an example, in 2011, Raymond spent four months in Jamaica assisting the Jamaica Constabulary Force in developing a nation-wide anti-gang strategy.

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